Mother’s Day can be a day of joy and a day of pain

I am wishing all moms a happy Mother’s Day and yet at the same time acknowledging that there are too many people who find Mother’s Day to be a cause of much pain.  For some the pain comes from grief, for others it comes from hurt.  Of course, the pain of grief is a natural part of life.  We lose someone dear to us, and it hurts.  For those who are grieving, know I understand that pain, and my prayer is you can find peace and joy today in the memories.  For those of you who are hurt by a mother who neglected you, abused you, or left you, I do not know what you are feeling, but my heart is deeply saddened that your mom has injured you this way. It should not be so.

It makes me wonder how a woman, whose very nature is to nurture, could abuse, neglect, or leave her child.  What has happened that could have the effect of overriding a woman’s natural instinct to protect and nurture her child?  Drugs?  Alcohol?  Certainly addiction to those could do it, but what about the feminist movement?  Is it possible to actually persuade away a natural instinct?  Advertisers know that if we hear something often enough we will begin to accept it as true.  Have women become so sold out to the idea that we are men’s equals that we no longer value the natural nature of womanhood?  Is it so much better to climb your way to the top, to be able to do anything a man does, to prove ourselves to be just as good, that we fail to realize that we are special just being women?  This seems to be the case.

Men and women are NOT the same.  Men, at least until the feminist movement started to neuter them, were naturally wired to be the hunter/gatherers, the providers.  Women, until the feminist movement convinced us we were men, were naturally wired to be the nurturer.   It is the mother who would care for, train, and along with the father, protect our young with our very lives if need be.   It was the wife who would nurture her husband with encouragement, love, and support.  Now, society expects women to act like men, leaving there no purpose for men to be men.   What exactly is the role of men then?  Well that will be a good topic for another blog.  For now I want to concentrate on motherhood and women.  I address myself when I write this, as well as all working mothers.

Is it the role of women to be the nurtures and the providers?  Could it be that the effort to live up to this standard, set by and promoted by the feminist movement, has pushed many women to stress levels that have become unbearable?   Can women’s nurturing nature become so burdened by the stress of trying to be the provider at the same time that her life becomes burdensome and lacks joy? Stress has a way of building up pressure inside us that eventually blows the top, so to speak.  So, moms yell at their kids and wives at their husbands.  So women say spiteful things to their family members, co-workers, and just about anyone they come in contact with.  Temporary relief is found in gossip or judgmental attitudes that temporarily lift us, in our own mind, above that of another.  This makes us feel better for a moment.

We have taken deep drinks of the Kool-Aid, and now find ourselves often trapped in a lifestyle that is unhealthy to us and to our families.  We cannot afford to quit work, or we are so caught up in the pride of self accomplishment that we continue to choose that over healthy relationships with our children and spouses.

So Mother’s Day could be renamed Working Woman’s Day.  The “mother” part seems to have been pushed aside for other accomplishments.  Mothers, we need to give our nurturing nature freedom to be what it was meant to be, and lower our priorities on other accomplishments.  Our lower stress levels alone will make this a better life for each of us as well as for those around us.  For those who have made the choice to stay at home and raise their children, I applaud your choice, and wish I’d made the same.  For those of us who have made the choice to work, I hope you will find ways to balance that does not erode your natural ability to nurture.  It is possible, but it is a difficult path.  I also applaud you for your efforts and wish you God’s strength and wisdom as you more through your journey in life.

God bless you all this Mother’s Day.